honestly, i’ve moved around socially from circle to circle. i’ve been a close part of every group of friends at my school and at other schools at one part in my life. but, i’ve never seemed to be able to hold on to a spot for more than a year. or even 10 months. why? i haven’t the slightest. i feel like every time i get comfortable around a group of people, and they get comfortable with me, it’s like

and i’m like boooooooo.

i just don’t get why i can’t make myself like what is around me. it’s like nothing is as good as i think it will be and the let down is always huge. where are all the people that:

• are literally smart. like school smart. and aren’t cocky and arrogant about it, and actually care about school and the marks they get.
• know the importance of partying. c’mon guys, it’s our last year of high school. we gotta fuck shit up a little and make it last.
• don’t brag and be a big douche about “how smashed i got” and “how many bitties i cheated on my girlfriend with at that party” and such. grow up, no one wants to hear about that.
• are okay to just chill. literally just relax, smoke a bowl, be quiet, lay around, whatever. it’s not like you need to go out and drink every single night. some days should be designated relaxation days.
• have morals! fuck cheating. fuck sloppy seconds. respect your friends and their feelings. treat people how you’d want to be treated and don’t go causing fights and drama just for the hell of it.
• don’t have a vagina .. i hate girls. we’re all catty, backstabbing and slutty. i don’t care what anyone says, this is my experience with most girls.
• aren’t super girly with emotions (boys). sure. i want to know how you feel and if there’s something wrong, i want to help and fix it. but if my boyfriend is crying on my shoulder every night and acting and being all mopey and attention-seeking, no. gtfo.
• have good taste in/an open mind about music!
• are ..nice? people are mean as hell these days. i mean hey. we all need to rant and let off a little steam sometimes. i think that’s fine, as long as you’re not attacking a person behind their back or gossiping and spreading rumors.
• can take a joke and not get all offended and defensive all the time.
• can talk to me about anything. i mean anything. 

i guess i just wish people were more relaxed and less caught up in themselves. or maybe i wish i was able to care less and just party rock all the time like these bros do? lol